As Date 4 with The Boy approached I was feeling more and more nervous. Or maybe excited? I couldn't quite put my finger on what the feeling was. I think it's because I'm pretty wide of my norm with this one. He's loud and confident and has no filter whatsoever, what's in his head comes out of his mouth. Don't get me wrong, it's refreshing, however it can be a little surprising sometimes, and takes a bit of getting used to.
In the days before the date I started to get the impression that he wasn't really that interested in me. He'd been chatting to girls on Plenty of Fish, or at least thats the assumption I made when I'd stalked him to see if he was online. Now, I'm a pretty simple girl. If I'm dating someone, I don't chat to other guys. I'd rather build a relationship with the person who I'm sharing a bed with. Is that just me? Anyway, We've already established that I'm pretty useless at this whole new world of online dating. I have no idea of what the rules are… I decided to put my concerns to the back of my mind, marked Over Thinking.
We (I) decided to meet close to me, at this point I wasn't sure how the night would end given the lack of communication during the week. If I was going to call time on our little fling, I have a lot more ways to escape closer to home. However, during the day we'd been messaging and the friendly, flirtatious, happy Boy that I was used to had reappeared, things were looking up! As I waited for him to arrive the nerves and anticipation of earlier had vanished and I was just really looking forward to seeing him. This time, I was early. Sure enough, as he walked into the bar, those same feelings reappeared. The walk, the attitude, the smile.
My rose-tinted love spectacles were firmly back on.
The date itself was easy, we went to a few bars, bumped into some of my friends and had a good laugh. It was nice to see him relaxed and happy. For the first time I could actually see what we would be like as a couple, and I quite liked what I saw. I want to be with someone who will look after me. Not in the sense of being the Little Woman, I'm far too independent for that, but in a protective, alpha male, mutually respectful way. Does that make any sense?? Anyway, I was pretty happy with date 4.
The next morning we went for breakfast and he dropped me off at home, everything was just as it should be. The Boy was back with me and I was feeling positive about a potential future for us.
That was Thursday morning. Today is Saturday. In the 48 hours in between The Boy has gone quiet on me again! I just don't get it and it's driving me slightly crazy!!
I think I'm at the point now where I either need to accept that he is just busy, and not a prolific communicator, or he's only interested in seeing me for the sex. We're both busy people and finding time to see each other can be tricky when we're juggling his rota and my days and nights with the children. Maybe it's just too much like hard work for him and he doesn't know how to tell me, maybe he's just hoping that the lack of communication will send the message for him?
I think the best thing for me to do is just stop thinking about it. If he wants to get in touch he will. Quite frankly I don't have the headspace to be screwing over a boy, or the time to sit around waiting to see if he likes me back.
And then I think, 'What would my Mum say?'. She'd tell me to forget about him, put my invisible crown back on and wait for someone who appreciates me, and isn't afraid to show it. I'm with Mum.