Dating – The Story So Far: Part 3

 

Dating, the story so far : Part 3

So after The Beast, I started to feel a little bit more positive about meeting someone. He had been funny, smart and a total gentleman, well, most of the time…

After some wine, one summer evening, I was chatting with a friend and we decided to set me up a Plenty of Fish account.

Plenty of Fish is a bit like the Tesco of online dating. One site fits all.

I was apprehensive at first, after my first attempt at this internet dating game went so badly, but thought, what the hell…

POF is a minefield of tattooed biceps, ripped torsos, cyber dweebs and guys who have zero idea of what a good photograph looks like, bless ’em. They lie about their age, occupation, marital status; the works. Or so I have learned.

But I digress. I thought, I’ll take this with pinch of salt, let’s just see what happens. I had loads of messages – I was the obvious newbie.

After what felt like hours of reading though messages, and studiously getting back to prospective suitors (you do not need to do this, just delete them, no one will be offended so I found out), I whittled them down to a couple of potential beaus.

There was the wayward business owner, Paul, and the investment entrepreneur, Anthony.

Paul looked like a fun-loving guy. He had two kids, tick.  His profile showed lots of larking around and general mayhem, tick. He could spell, tick. Why wouldn’t I go out with a guy like that? He loved to talk about his many weird and wonderful experiences of digital dating, it was interesting to hear the other side of the story. When we met, he was charming and interesting. Less handsome in real life if I’m being brutally honest, but he was kind and funny which is far more important in my book. Anyway, we had a couple of drinks and parted ways with date two arranged for a few days later. And thats when it changed. The jovial banter was replaced by some serious sex chat, I mean eye-watering stuff. I went along with it for a bit as it was quite entertaining, and I was a bit bored. Then he recorded himself having a wank and sent me the audio. And that was the end of that.

wtf.gif

 

And then there was Anthony. My date with Anthony is what I suspect most people use Tinder for. We had been chatting for a few days and he seemed like a very intelligent chap. He was fit, really beyond buff fit. Think Adonis. And he had money, a self made millionaire. Now I’ve never been out with anyone like that before, I’d feel way too self conscious and under-achieving. However, I’d had a pretty rough day at work and we were chatting away on whatsapp when he suggested I come and meet him for a drink to cheer me up. It was about 10pm and I had had some wine at this point. That’s no excuse for what I did, but it did help. God, I hope my parents don’t read this…

He said, “I’m calling you a cab, get in it and we’ll go for dinner”.

{Safety Tip: This is what you definitely do not do}

I still can’t believe I actually trusted him enough to drag myself off the sofa, get ready, get in his cab, drive to Manchester and meet a total stranger. As it happens it was fine. We had a lovely time drinking champagne and nibbling on canapés. The staff were closing up around us, it was actually quite romantic. I’ll spare you the details of what happened next, but it involved a very expensive hotel room and the most outrageous walk of shame the next day…

 

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